I Wasn't Ready To Hear You Say Goodbye
by writingdawn
Summary: He thought everything was okay, until it happened. He wasn't ready to hear her say goodbye. Dedicated to 'stuckbeingrachel' and 'Raven3357!


Jerome peeked out the front door to see his girlfriend sitting on a bench in the front porch, staring at the stars. "Mara?" she jumped at the sound, and hastily put something away as he joined her.

"Are you alright, dear? You've been acting quiet lately," he asks, stroking her hair lovingly.

"I'm alright, Jerome," she nods, kissing her cheek then leaned on his shoulder.

"But I miss you," he complains. "I want to talk to you like we used to do every night. Remember those nights?" Mara nods and smiles at the wonderful memories she had with him.

"Every time you miss me, look at the space between your fingers," she takes his hand and separates each finger from each other, "and you can imagine mine in them." he chuckles lightly, kissing her lips.

"I'll always be here for you, Jaffray." he smiles.

* * *

Jerome POV

"You shouldn't be too hard on him, Alf-" I was cut off by my phone ringing. "Hold on a sec," I tell him as I answer my phone. I hear Amber's high-pitched voice.

"Hey, Jerome. Come to Liverpool Hospital ASAP. You might wanna see this. I'm at room 909. See you." she then hung up before I could even speak.

"Why in the world would your girlfriend want me in the hospital?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck. "Well, I better go, Alf, and don't go crazy on him while I'm out." I tell him, grabbing a jacket on my way out.

Questions fill my head as I run down the sidewalk. It made me feel nervous, worried, anxious, and excited. I reach the hospital soon enough. A nurse stops me from running down the hall.

"Excuse me, sir." she walks over to me. "Which room?"

"Uh, room 909." I reply confidently.

"Ah, Miss Millington has been expecting you," she nods as she leads me up to a small room upstairs.

She opens the door and I see a frail-looking Mara on the hospital bed. "Oh my gosh, Mara," I gasp as I rush over to her. "Why?" I turn to Amber.

"Mara has been diagnosed with cancer, s-stage three." she whispers, her voice cracking.

I look at her frantically. "I-is she-" oh man, I hope she isn't. I couldn't bear it.

"No, thankfully. Doctors say her health was worse, and there aren't much chances she'll make it." she then leaves to call Mara's brother.

I rush over to sit on a stool beside Mara. Her eyes flutter open and she turns to me. "Jerome." she smiles, but tears welled up in her eyes; mine as well

"Why didn't you tell me?" I stroke her cheek. "Did you not trust me enough?"

"No, Jerome." she shook her head gently. "I wasn't ready to leave you. I wanted to spend every hour with you without you knowing about it, as if nothing is going to happen. I wanted to see you happy when you're with me, while it lasts, before I say goodbye. But it hurts me, it hurts to think that the future we've planned together every night will never come true, to think that you'll never see me walk down that aisle, to think that you won't graduate with me, and to make it even worse; it's all my fault. It hurts me to think that I'll never see your face again, I'll never kiss you again, hug you, talk to you about my problems, my future, my feelings, my thoughts, my fears. I won't get to walk with you in the rain like we usually do, I won't get to study with you, I won't get to see you every time after summer, I won't get to read with you, I won't get to talk to you every night, hear you compliment me, see you and Alfie joke around and making me laugh, I won't get to say 'I love you' to you and kiss good night... All I'll see is darkness. I don't want to say goodbye, I never did."

"I know, dear, it's not your fault, either," I didn't know what to say. "I'm gonna miss you,"

She tries for a smile, but failed. She took my hand and intertwined our fingers. She kissed my lips gently. After that, nothing.

* * *

I was asked by Mara's father to say a few words. But the truth is, no words can describe how much I loved Mara Jaffray, and I don't know if I could ever love that much again. I step up the stage, all eyes following me.

"Mara Jaffray was an amazing person, and we all know it. She changed me in many ways words can't describe. I had a bad past, and I never expected that someone like her would love me. I told her many times, 'you bring out the best in me', and I just hope I said it often enough for her to believe it. She helped me with my relationship with my father and sister, and she helped me change myself."

* * *

_**2 YEARS **__**LATER**_

I sit on Mara Jaffray's empty bedroom, dressed in my graduation gown. My memory of her was still fresh, and it'll always be there. I never looked for another girl, because knowing that Mara Jaffray loved me was more than enough. My heart didn't ask for anything more than that. And sometimes, when I'm alone in my room, I look at the space in between my fingers, and I could imagine hers in between them. "Jerome, are you coming to the party?" Alfie peeked in the door. I nodded. "Can you give me a few minutes?" he smiled then nodded.

I took a piece of paper from Mara's old diary, the same one I gave her on our anniversary. I wrote,

_You bring out the best in me, Mara Jaffray._

I put it in her empty dresser. I looked around the room. Mara and I had a lot of memories here. And now, it's empty. I looked at the room one last time before I stepped out.

* * *

**Well, I hope you guys liked it! It was a bit cliche. But... anyways. Thanks for reading! xx**


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